Sometimes I feel like I am Billy Pilgrim in Slaughter House Five, or Desmond (from LOST) in “The Constant” episode. I seem to have problems with slipping around in time. Sometimes I’m in the future. Mostly I’m in the past, mostly, and many times I hear Tyler Durden telling me “This is the greatest moment of your life and you’re off somewhere missing it. Stay focused on the moment, don’t think about other things just enjoy the moment.” How often am I in the present, not thinking about what happened today or what I will do later, just enjoying right now? I digress.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

There are things you can't unsee

or "I wish I didn't look after all .....


So I recently read Paul Levinson's blog post review on The Shield. It reminded me of the last episode and how traumatized I was after seeing it. I have always said that there are certain things you can't unsee and that is absolutely true with The Shield. After the finale I thought about it and realized The Shield has had three of the most disturbing scenes I have even seen on TV. The rest I have seen in movies or on the internet. These are things I can never get out of my mind, I think about them with the same emotion as when I first saw them __ years ago. They are so disturbing and powerful that you are changed, permanently, just a little bit.

So here are the top 9 things I have seen that can't be unseen.

1. The Shield - final episode. I don't want to have a spoiler on here so lets just say it's the scene in the episode titled "Family Meeting". I still think of it now and again and get a bit depressed.

2.The Shield - Season 2 (I think Barnstormer?) When Gardoki has his face burned on the stove by Armadillo. I had never seen such a brutal thing actually happen on TV. Usually the guy is saved at the last minute, not scarred for life!!

3. The Shield - Season 3, Riceburner. Tavon and Shane have a huge fight over a lie from Shane's horrible wife. It is a violent, nasty fight with the N-bomb dropped. Mara hits him in the head with an iron and he stumbles out onto the street, dazed and confused. He drives off and is eventually thrown through the windshield of his van after hitting a parked car. The digital filming at first makes the broken glass look like blood splattering onto the street. Words can't quite describe it. There's that feeling in the bottom of my stomach again!!

4. Two girls and a cup - Viral Video - After all the hype I "had" to see it... It is THE single worst thing I have ever seen. DON'T look it up if you haven't seen it. I won't be held responsible.

5. The last scene in "KIDS" - Movie 1995 - Just about the entire movie is disturbing, the use of unknown, young actors makes it that much more creepy. Telly, the main character, is HIV positive and tries to deflower as many young girls as possible without protection. The final scene where a boy takes advantage of a passed out girl who has HIV is just the icing on the cake. Having a teenage daughter myself, this movie shakes me to my core!

6. The rape scene in Leaving Las Vegas - Movie 1995 - When Elisabeth Shue is brutally raped by a bunch of jocks, it made me need to take a shower. The way the scene was shot, so choppy and rage filled, it was the darkest scene in a very dark movie.

7. The Blair Witch Project -Movie 1999 - The movie was mostly lame but the last 15 seconds were very traumatic. I couldn't go into the basement for years without the hair on my neck standing up.

8. Requiem for a Dream - Movie 2000 - The story line with the mother was upsetting, it made me think of my Grandma, and I hoped her life didn't end as lonely as that (and I was glad she didn't lose it like that). The arm amputation, the girlfriend prostituting her self out and being degraded...80% of the movie is so very tragic and sad.

9. A cadaver - Sophomore year in college I took Anatomy and Physiology. We dissected a new (fresh?) female cadaver. I will never forget seeing the chest cut open and then the teacher lifting the skin and breasts to the side like it was just wrapping for the insides. All the muscle and stuff underneath, heart, lungs, liver and intestines just popping out, right there for all to see and smell.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Marc's Fine ART of the Day

Marc's F ine ART of the Day-

Made possible by a cooperative agreement between Google, BlogSpot, Facebook and Marc Brown ( However only I am aware of it.)



Blue Dog at the Lone Branch - 2009 Oil on linen


I fell in love with the Blue Dog on a trip to New Orleans. I almost got a tatoo of her but friends tricked me into something else. ( long story)

The Blue Dog story:
One particular Cajun legend, the loup-garou, became the inspiration for the first Blue Dog. Painted for a book of Cajun ghost stories (Bayou, Inkwell, 1984), Rodrigue chose a photo of his studio dog Tiffany who had died several years before as his prototype. Rodrigue painted this first eerie Blue Dog a scruffy, pale grey-blue, with red eyes.

Want to buy a painting http://www.georgerodrigue.com/



Friday, April 3, 2009

Akeelah and the Spelling Zombie


or


Top Zombie Movies and Books




World War Z: (Book)


I loved this book and can't say enough about it. I love the way Max Brooks built such a rich fake history. I also love that the Zombies freeze and then when thawed they attack again.




Shaun of the Dead: (Movie)


When they are walking by the zombies and think they are just some wasted street people, I laugh every time.




28 Days Later: (Movie)


Danny Boyle directing (big fan), love the digital photography. The way the camera moves while the infected attack is just unnerving. I hate when that drop of blood falls down into the dad's eye.






The Serpent and The Rainbow: (Movie)


Director Wes Craven made an awesome movie, that is based on the book by Wade Davis. Bill Pullman is sent to Haiti by a pharmaceutical company, and is pulled into a government conspiracy of Zombification.




Night of the Living Dead: (Movie)




THE ORIGINAL , they just never stop coming.




Dawn of the Living Dead: (Movie)


What can I say, I like the whole mall set up. even though it is the weakest of my picks.




Return of the living Dead: (Movie)


When I was a Punk Rocker in High School, this was the movie we watched over and over. The girl who has sex in the graveyard, loved it. The barking half dog , one of my favorite scenes.






The Evil Dead: (Movie)


I am not so sure I count this as a Zombie movie but the dead are brought to life and it always stuck with me. Directed by Sam Raimi, this is one of those movies that had one or two scenes that scared me to the core. When the girl starts playing with the knife.... eeeep.




The Zombie Survival Guide: (Book)


Max Brooks again, the whole idea of this book is great.




Pride, Prejudice and Zombies: (Book)


Haven't read it yet, but I can't wait. Love the idea!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Who watches "The Watchmen" answered!

or



What did I come to see again??



Since I'm a time traveller, I went back two weeks and finally saw "The Watchmen". The best part of the movie was that I answered the question, "Who watches the Watchmen?" The answer is geeks...lots of geeks (well 10, approximately). Granted, I saw the movie at noon on a Monday, but still there were exactly 10 guys, by themselves, perfectly spaced out so they wouldn't have to talk to each other. And yes, I know that makes me a geek too. Takes one to know one.

Apparently, the marketing people know who goes to see these movies too. The trailers were just a giant nerd orgy. Star Trek Origins looks great, thank you J.J. Abrams. Though Sylar playing Spock makes me a bit leery. Then it was X-men Origins. Not a huge fan of the last two X-men movies or Liev Schreiber (he's going to take on Wolverine...come on!?) but it does look good.


Next up was The Terminator Salvation. Man, can Christian Bale be any hotter right now? (Said in a totally hetero way...) He is in everything. You can't be Batman, Pablo Escobar, John Conner and Jack Kelly... save some roles for the rest of the guys. When I was in 1992 everyone in "The Player" says "We'll get Bruce Willis for the lead!" Then Brad Pitt was Bruce, then Colin Farrel was Bruce, then they wanted Shia LaBeouf to be Bruce.


Anyway... I thought the movie was great! I loved Rorschach, he was perfect. The guy looked just like him and "the Batman" voice was great! I am not sure if they decided to hire actors just based on them looking like the characters in the book, or not, but they were uncanny.


Well... I think that's enough about the movie.

Have a nice day!!




Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Everything I learned, I learned by myself off of the computer



or



Wii ! It's not just for breakfast anymore!







Why is education so expensive?!? I could pay $2,000 dollars for one of these if there was a 10% chance it would make it through a budget... or I could offer a class in the district high schools where we teach the kids how to do this, then we send a team of students to each elementary school to make one in all willing teachers classrooms. When they set it up they train any other kids that want to learn how to do it. Total cost $200 + each student has a skill that just may lead to more innovation. The snowball effect of this would be enormous!! The only question would be how can we "no bid" contract this out to a company, who could then charge $1,000 each to oversee it, otherwise what is really the point.
This vidoe shows how to make a Wii remote, a marker, and a laptop into a smartboard.... go, go, go, Macgyver.

The Revolution starts now!!!





Saturday, March 21, 2009

Things that make me laugh... EVERYTIME!!

or
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

1 Wiener dogs- the are so long and floppy eared and overly confident.

2 My son with his underwear backwards. / when he gets right up to my face and breaths his stinky breath on me.

3 Some one laughing uncontrollably, tears in their eyes.

4 Myself in my sleep.

5 The words
Tickled / / Noodles / Boogie / Scooter/ Booboo/ scooby doo
Sherbet/ Schubert / Doofenshmirtz / octopus/ soup / shampoo
Wiener / Uranus / Nipple/ anything in a candian accent
Suessical / all Suess words pretty much./ turtle/ moose/ wood pecker

6 When people sing the wrong words to a song.

7 Team names at trivia night –Touched by An Uncle, Free Tibet with Purchase of a Large Drink. Nine inch Males.

8 A sit com set up that I see a million miles away

9 Will Ferrell’s President Bush- have some margaritas at Chi Chi’s

10 A platypus – especially Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb- Plus they sound like a beaver lay eggs like a bird, common.

11 Will Ferrell in Elf- I’m singing a song about…

12 How I met Your Mother...wait for it..wait for it…. I think it has some great writing you don’t find around much any more.

13 Ground Hogs Day… it is funny, over..and over..and over!!

14 Unnecessary Censorship – from Jimmy Kimmel

15 Phineas and Ferb- A triangle kids and a rectangle kid, whose sister is a half circle.

16 People act like they heard the words wrong- like a Grandpa saying “start” instead of “stop”
17 Old silent movies – love the physical comedy – “Modern Times”

18 A “SPIT- TAKE” always makes me laugh, mostly because you see it a mile

19 When I try NOT to laugh because it's an inappropriate time!!!!

Monday, March 16, 2009

I Had A Dream

or
Marc Brown: It's Not complicated
I had this dream last night. I'll describe it the best I can, then tell you the back story. You know, since I don't follow time linearly.

So, I was in my southern mansion having a dinner party (Hey, a man can dream!). I was walking around entertaining and saying hi to all the families. I would say there were maybe 20 families. Suddenly I heard a ruckus in the library. I opened the door and it is a huge Sherlock Holmes style library, and there was a mess everywhere. There was this boy on the floor throwing all my favorite, leather-bound books as hard and spitefully as he could. There were other boys all over with cuts and scrapes and this boy was throwing the books right at them. There was blood everywhere, on the floors and on the shelves. I tried to stop him and he went crazy. I had to restrain him (thank you Denver Public Schools for the training). I was so mad and wanted to just punch him out to stop him, but I didn't and he kept getting worse. He was like a rabid dog, a la Stephen King. He just kept attacking, and attacking. Finally I got him to calm down and he just started to laugh at me.

I went out and looked around for his dad, but when I found him I couldn't speak . It was like my throat was clogged. No sound would come out. I finally got some words out and he just shrugged, "so what". I walked him around explaining to him and showing him how other families were playing games with their sweet kids and others were sitting around doing crafts and laughing. I told him I would have to have him pay for the damages his son did to my moms house (yes ownership somehow changed). He walked over to some other guys and they discussed something, while they hung out downstairs in the basement.

I went outside and saw this bird or pterodactyl on the roof by it's nest. While I was watching, some eggs started to roll off the roof. I caught one and as I did it hatched and a baby came out. I thought I didn't want it to look at me because then it would think I was it's mother and I wasn't. Then another rolled off and I tried to save it to, but it landed on the ground and when the shell cracked we saw it was already dead.

Meanwhile, in the basement, my Mom and my (deceased) step Dad were working on their room, when the men asked them why they were living in the basement of this house. Why weren't they living on the main floor, which was were I was going to live. They started getting mad explaining that it was illegal to rent out the rest of the house because it was a single family dwelling. "No! No! We are just renovating - that's all!" they explained. Things started to get heated. The guys said they were going to turn everyone in. I tried to stop them by saying that they were just trying to get out of paying for the crazy boy's behavior. They said all the damage was my problem, too bad, I would have to deal with it myself.

Now here is the back story: it's complicated.

My mom moved in to my house over the summer, she lives in the garage that we renovated. We just hooked up the water last weekend ourselves, no permit. (hypothetically) We are adopting two kids from Ethiopia in the next few weeks. My son woke up last night at 1am, and was screaming and arguing like he has done for the last 3.5 years. I finally got him to stop and go down to his room, where I put him to bed, but then I was to hyped up to go back to sleep. I was up until 4:30, when I finally drifted to sleep and had this dream.

I'm thinking I probably don't need a dream analysis on this one.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Top 19 Media About Time Travel

or
If you are ever bedridden, here are somethings to do.

Only slightly in order. And just some quick thoughts -- not long winded reviews.

Primer (movie) Great Movie so minimal and washed out. Love the idea that business uses technology just to make money- see how the Porn industry has driven our top tech inventions. Like VHS, DVD, Internet.

Donnie Darko (movie) Love the 80’s sound track and remember Frank is just trying to help you – maybe. I Love how time travel is always blamed on symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia.
12 Monkeys (movie) One of Brad’s top 5 performances. Love how Brad and Bruce have possible symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia.

Time Bandits (movie) Why does there have to be evil? Supreme Being: I think it has something to do with free will. Look, do you want to be leader of this gang? No, we agreed: No leader! Right. So shut up and do as I say..

Rant – An Oral Biography (Book) Can’t give anything away, so I’ll just say this is a delightful story, just like all of Chuck’s books, if you are a twisted soul. A quick read I finished in only 3 months, with time travel factored in.

Does Groundhog Day count? (Movie) I had groundhog for breakfast! I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way.

The Butterfly Effect (movie) one of the only movies with Ashton I can watch…. Plus it goes with A Sound Of Thunder (see below).

A Sound of Thunder by Ray Bradbury (Short Story) The movie sucked, but I love the idea of changing history by stepping on a bug. Some rich business men pay big money to hunt a T-rex. Trivia Ray actually didn’t coin the phrase “butterfly effect” though; it was an MIT dude in the 80’s

The Simpsons episode "Time and Punishment" which was part of Season 6's Tree house of Horror V. The spoof of the short story above. Later stolen to make the butterfly effect.
Time After Time (movie) My name is H.G. Wells. I came here in a time machine of my own construction. I am pursuing Jack the Ripper, who escaped into the future in my machine. One of those movies you saw 50 times because it was the summer you got HBO.

Timeline by Michael Creighton (book) Movie sucked. Book makes sense though, you know if you suspend disbelief.

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (movie) High school movie to watch over and over and over.
Back to the Future 2 and 1 (movies) I really like the second one when Biff uses his time travel to make money. But the popular answer is the first one.

Terminator 2 and 1 (movies) He was right, he did come back.

Planet of the Apes (movie) Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape! You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Lost (TV) who doesn’t love this show freckles? Think of how so many of us thought they were dead and in purgatory.

Peabody's Improbable History (TV) Talking dog historian/time traveler, Mr. Peabody and his pet boy Sherman. The two would jump into their time machine called "The way back machine". Getting up at 5:30 as a kid to watch the Lone Ranger and this was on after it. With Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Once in a Lifetime by the Talking Heads (Song) 1980 “…and you may tell yourself. This is not my beautiful house! And you may tell yourself .This is not my beautiful wife!”
Time Splitter 2000 (PS2) I know it is an old game but its one of the few I have played- as referenced in my Blog Unstuck in Time. I am cheap and only have old games.

Time Machine by HG Wells (Book) was published in 1895. Are you kidding me?! The Island Of Dr. Moreau, War of the Worlds The Invisible Man. HG Wells was a true Futurist.

And finally a poem:

A mammoth, frozen
in Siberian tundra
for twice 10,000 years
Is exhumed at last.
Embedded in the right tusk:
a tracking device
-- Keith Allen Daniels

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Problem With Being Unstuck in Time

- Or -

It’s not cool until I say it’s cool.


Sometimes I feel like I am Billy Pilgrim in Slaughter House Five, or Desmond (from LOST) in “The Constant” episode. I seem to have problems with slipping around in time. Sometimes I’m in the future. Mostly I’m in the past, mostly, and many times I hear Tyler Durden telling me “This is the greatest moment of your life and you’re off somewhere missing it. Stay focused on the moment, don’t think about other things just enjoy the moment.” How often am I in the present, not thinking about what happened today or what I will do later, just enjoying right now? I digress.

This week I have been obsessed with the White Stripes. I listened to them for the first time a couple weeks ago. Now of course I’d heard them years ago… and changed the station, but I never really listened to them before. The song was Blue Orchid – wow, soooo good -- then I listened to Seven Nation Army. Also awesome. I even created a crush for Meg. I know, I know they have been around since the late 90’s but to me they are a brand new band, because I just slid back to that year for a week. I didn’t really listen to Nirvana until their MTV Unplugged CD was playing at my friend Pat’s house in 1997. Kurt wasn’t even alive any more. You see, I spent several weeks crashing at Pat’s house in Tucson, not knowing he had no TV until I got there. I remember in 2001 I was living in the 1990’s and discovered Paul Oakenfold and electronica music. That was an amazing summer. Of course my wife says I am not time traveling but rather I never listen to FM radio or new music or her. True. I have a closed loop for music, kind of like the Amish and breeding.

The best part is I ALWAYS say I don’t like things that I have never actually heard, tasted or seen, just because the masses think it’s cool. I used to think that started when I was in high school when Joe, Pat, Mickey, Brian and I were punk rock guys. I loved to hate everything people loved. I was totally different and unique, exactly like my friends were. However I realized I had been doing it years before. I remember telling my friend Jay Penny in middle school that I didn’t want to go with him to see U2 at Red Rocks. Yes. In 1983. I have spoken to 14,000 people that went to that concert and, yes, it holds just under 10,000. It’s just like how I have met at least 40 people now that were with Darent Williams the night he was shot and died. I am sure he had a big posse that NYE, but I don’t actually know that many cool people that he would have hung out with. Anyway, I didn’t want to go to the concert because I thought he was talking about the B52’s which were popular, therefore I didn’t like them. I know in 1987 at college I always listened to them and proclaimed they were the best.

The same can also be said for TV and movies. I finally watched Weeds, season 1, this summer. Loved it! Welcome to 2005. I started watching the Wire (one of the best shows ever made) when season 3 started in 2004. When I make it back to 2004 I can finally start Battlestar Galactica -- I’ve heard it’s good. Just thinking of the irony of watching Donnie Darko three years after it was out and thinking “I used to love this INXS song” when it was big in the 8o’s. That is some real time traveling.

I just finished the last episode ever of “The Shield”. Yes, I am currently living in November 2008. Wow!! That’s all I can say. The end is so perfect and soooo disturbing it would be wrong to describe it… it really must be experienced. I was going to post the trauma I suffered from watching this… but I will save that for another digression.

This Christmas I was stuck in 2001, My wife bought me one of those hats that looks like a snow hat but it has a bill on it. I LOVE this hat. I remember when they came out and I said ‘I hate those hats, and those dumb kids that think they are sooo cool wearing them.” Two years ago I was in 2002, where I bought cargo pants for work. I love them, so I bought 4 pairs. Just like the hats with the bill, I hated them until that then. Too many kids wearing them…and why do they need so many pockets? I don’t need so many pockets. Heck I figured while I was there I might as well buy some skateboard shoes too. I wear them every chance I can. Now I am trying to buy a black leather jacket for spring as long as I land in any year from 1980 – 1999. Unfortunately for me, my wife acts as Doc Brown as I go backwards in time, preventing me from buying anything that might change the future. Therefore I am not allowed to buy a leather jacket because she says they are “out”. Hello McFly??? Anybody home!! I guess she may be part Biff too. Of course my wife would say I’m no time traveler it’s just that by the time clothes are 75% off on the clearance rack at Target I am finally willing to buy them.

When I think about it, I have never experienced electronics in the present. I am always a year or more behind. I would never think of buying a new computer in the $1500 range with whatever is new and great. What do I need 4 gigs of ram for? That would explain why I have never played a video game in the present, only the past. I would never consider buying a blue ray until they are two years old. What do I need 1080 dpi for? I would never buy a blackberry, what do I need to check email on the road for? I almost bought a PS3 the day the came out … but they were 600 bucks. I can still use my PS2. Plus when I jump back two years, a year from now, I will be able to buy it for a quarter of the price. I would never buy a brand new, on-the-market video game. I can wait a year and get it for half price. Sure this means I play Madden football when the players have already been traded or retired, and it’s on a Sega, but I am still enjoying it. I am an expert of all sports players and the team they were on 3 years ago.

Of course my wife says she can explain my time traveling and there is a logical scientific explanation for all this… I am extremely cheap!!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I am Jack's copyright ethics..... or


Fight Club still featuring Hobbes the tiger

Fight Club

The Return of Hobbes

Hobbes is reborn as Tyler to save "Jack" (a grown-up Calvin) from the slough of un-comic despair.

::: Galvin P. Chow

In the film Fight Club, the real name of the protagonist (Ed Norton’s character) is never revealed. Many believe the reason behind this anonymity is to give "Jack" more of an everyman quality. Do not be deceived. "Jack" is really Calvin from the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. It’s true. Norton portrays the grown-up version of Calvin, while Brad Pitt plays his imaginary pal, Hobbes, reincarnated as Tyler Durden.

Part I: The Hobbes-Tyler Connection

Picture this: a hyper, self-absorbed child initially concocts an imaginary friend as the ideal playmate, to whom more realistic qualities soon become attributed. This phantasm becomes a completely separate personality, with his own likes, dislikes, and temperament—and the imaginer and the imagined clash and argue constantly, though remaining fast friends. This pattern continues to the point where the child begins to perceive what was originally mere fantasy to be reality.

Just as Calvin has an imaginary jungle-animal friend named Hobbes, whom everyone else believes to be nothing but a stuffed toy, "Jack" in Fight Club has an imaginary cool-guy friend named Tyler, whom no one but Jack can see.

In both cases, the entity that began as the ideal companion soon took on a more realistic, three-dimensional quality. In other words, they became real. This is evident in that both Hobbes and Tyler also began to function as scapegoats for their creators. For instance, consider that Calvin often blames broken lamps and other assorted household mischief on Hobbes, and that Jack is inclined to believe that Fight Club and other various anti-society mischief is brought about by Tyler, not himself. Calvin claims Hobbes pounces on him every day after school; Jack believes Tyler beats him up next to 40 kilotons of nitroglycerin in a parking garage—the list goes on and on. The relationships between the two sets of friends are the exact same. Is this mere coincidence?

Hobbes

"There are eight rules of Fight Club."

Filling in the time-gap between Calvin and Jack, we can imagine the story as something like this: Once Calvin reaches the hostile environment known as the seventh grade, the constant teasing from the other students and the frustrated concern of his parents finally becomes too much, and a reluctant, disillusioned Calvin is finally forced to grow up, or at least begin to. This decision is sealed by one of the hardest things young Calvin will ever have to do in his life: un-imagine Hobbes, an act which to Calvin is essentially no different from murder. After being Calvin’s best friend for over a decade, Hobbes is packed away in a box, or tossed carelessly into a garbage bag, perhaps even stuffed under the same bed that once contained so many monsters. This is all, of course, very painful for Calvin, so much so that he represses it all in shame. Little does Calvin suspect that while he is busy growing up, deciding what "dinette set defines him as a person," Hobbes is also maturing in the recesses of his mind, waiting to be unleashed at an appropriate time.

It’s worth noting that during these twenty or so years, Hobbes never bears a grudge against Calvin nor wishes any ill upon him. Hobbes, remembering the depth of their past friendship, does not hate Calvin but rather hates the society that made Calvin put him away. Hobbes, residing in Calvin’s mind, sees and experiences all that Calvin does—and truly despises all of it. He witnesses a bright, superbly imaginative kid (with a genius-level vocabulary) reduced to nothing more than another nameless cog. Fighting off the tears wept for his conventionalized pal, Hobbes resolves to set Calvin free, paying special attention when Calvin idly looks up homemade-napalm recipes on the Internet.

Flash forward to the timeframe depicted in Fight Club. Calvin/Jack has reached an all-time low. He has done everything society has told him to do but is completely void of happiness. Hobbes, newly adjusted as "Tyler Durden" (after all, grown-up Calvin would no longer accept a jungle animal walking, talking, and eating canned tuna), re-enters Calvin/Jack’s life, determined to show Calvin everything he’s done wrong, whether he likes it or not.

Hobbes and the transmogrified Calvin

Tyler to Jack: "I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I’m smart, capable, and most importantly, I’m free in all the ways you wish you could be."

Calvin has always idolized Hobbes. In Weirdos From Another Planet, he dresses up like a tiger and attempts to live in the woods. Like Hobbes, Tyler is cool, collected, and incredibly cerebral. Given this evidence, one can conclude that Tyler is Hobbes, reincarnated after being trapped inside Calvin/Jack’s brain for so many years. Just as Calvin is Jack, Hobbes is Tyler.

Part II: Marla Singer—Avatar of Susie Derkins?

Somewhere between the end of high school and beginning of college, uptight, grade-obsessed Susie Derkins lost her way. The pressure to get good grades, the pressure to succeed, simply became too much for her, and she snapped.

Marla ponders her previous life as Susie Derkins

Marla remembers the girl she used to be.

Free from the protective bonds of her parents’ guidance and the bland safety of her suburban home, Susie loses her moral bearings entirely and sinks into a dark, seamy, grim world of sex, drugs, and eccentric Albert-Einstein-like hair. Her transformation is so complete that she no longer even remotely resembles the upright citizen that her parents and society wanted her to be: thus, she changes her name.

Like Calvin, Susie has become a misfit, one of society’s lost lambs. It is for this reason that she soon finds herself frequenting support groups such as "Remaining Men Together." Fate has brought her back to Calvin, whom she probably spurned back in junior high. But the two have changed so much that they no longer recognize each other!

The pink dress Marla wears in one scene slightly resembles something that "Binky Betsy," Susie’s favorite childhood doll, once wore: the doll that Calvin stole and attempted to ransom. While Calvin and Susie mostly teased and tortured each other, Hobbes was infatuated with the raven-haired beauty. Accordingly, Jack despises Marla, whereas Tyler takes an *ahem* sort of interest in her (definitely inappropriate for the Sunday Funnies).

When we are first introduced to Marla, she is but a tumor on Jack’s slowly deteriorating world. She is disenfranchised, morbid, socially apathetic—and Jack despises her because she is a mirror image of himself, his own female double. On the other hand, Calvin hates Susie because she is his exact opposite: Bright, obedient, demure—the unruly Calvin has every reason to hate her. However, certain strips definitely infer that Calvin has somewhat of a crush on Susie, and some even imply that Susie shares these latent feelings. But as a cootie-fearing grade-schooler, Calvin may only express these strange feelings through attention-getting antagonisms such as constant snowballs to the head, ransoming her dolls—and through his separate, conveniently more mature other personality—Hobbes.

Unlike Calvin, Hobbes has never been bashful about showing his affection for Susie. Calvin’s imaginary tiger-friend has called her a "cutie," worn swim jams to impress her ("Girls flip for guys in jams"), and even claimed he would betray their club’s secret code if she gave him a tummy rub (which is one of the key differences between Tyler and Hobbes). Naturally, all of this confuses and frustrates Calvin beyond words, even though Hobbes is really nothing more than a product of his own mind! And though Hobbes and Susie never consummated their love for each other (he’s a stuffed tiger and she’s a kid, you sicko!) this is, of course, the exact same deranged love-triangle that is shared between Jack, Tyler, and Marla, or at least a natural progression thereof. Perhaps Marla puts up with Jack/Tyler’s apparent nonsense for so long, because it’s the sort of thing she became used to as a child? And perhaps, in the end, Jack finds solace in Marla because it’s the exact same connection he should’ve made long ago, in his suburban youth. A connection that may have saved them both.

Part III: GROSS—Precursor of Fight Club

Hobbes in a tree sneering at Calvin

In a scene eerily reminiscent of Fight Club, Hobbes blithely informs a sulking Calvin that he decides his own level of involvement in G.R.O.S.S.

When you boil it down, the Fight Club that Jack and Tyler start is really just an odd sort of boys’ club—no ovaries allowed—where men can be men, and the so-called stronger of the sexes can take solace in the fact that, even in our politically correct times, some exclusivities of manhood still remain. (As a side note, imagine how much more controversy the movie would have generated if it involved scenes of men fighting women on equal ground!)

And clubs like this, of course, have their beginnings in backyards, tree houses, and garages all over America. Not surprisingly, Calvin started such a club when he was six years old. Little did anyone realize that he would construct another one much later in his life, again with the aid of an imaginary friend. For just as Calvin, Hobbes, and Susie have dark future versions in Jack, Tyler, and Marla respectively, G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) has the same in Fight Club.

G.R.O.S.S. shares the following characteristics with Fight Club:

  • Both have catchy names (although the "slimy" part of G.R.O.S.S. is redundant, otherwise it doesn’t spell anything).
  • Calvin and Hobbes fight club
    Both are co-run by a friendless male and his imaginary companion (Calvin is Tyrant and Dictator-for-Life; Hobbes is President and First Tiger).
  • Both are exclusively male organizations, although Fight Club’s membership is considerably larger.
  • Along with that, all members of both organizations are very loyal.
  • The leaders of both organizations constantly engage in fisticuffs (but only in G.R.O.S.S. does a member receive a demerit for biting).
  • And in said fights, in both organizations, there is only one fight at a time!
  • Both are supposedly very secretive (though Jack never tells his mother about Fight Club).
  • At least one leader of both organizations is fond of giving speeches (though Calvin never uses the term "space monkey").

G.R.O.S.S. and Fight Club both wreak havoc on their respective neighborhoods (G.R.O.S.S.’s target is considerably more focused, i.e., Susie). Clearly, the roots of Fight Club can be seen in G.R.O.S.S. Calvin shows his penchant for such male-oriented, destructive organizations. Also, just like cardboard-box-time-machines and water-gun-transmogrifiers, G.R.O.S.S. was likely created as an escape, a release—as, of course, was Fight Club.

Part IV: Moe Develops Karmic Bitch-Tits

Jack and Moe/Robert Paulson

Moe secretly seeks atonement for past sins.

Robert "Moe" Paulson, Calvin’s grade-school bully, becomes a six-time weight-lifting champion, and somewhere along the line develops large man-boobs as a result of testicular cancer. This of course leads him to his support group, where he is shocked to find Calvin.

Moe greatly regrets his bullying days, but, too ashamed to reveal his true identity to Calvin, he instead offers his ample bosom for him to cry on, as a measure of retribution.

Part V: The Root of Evil

Although we’ve already learned of the fates of Hobbes, Susie, and Moe, there are a couple of other people important to Calvin that are missing. People that are even more integral to his development than (arguably) Hobbes: his parents. Mr . . . uhm . . . , and Mrs . . . uh. . . . Okay, so they don’t have names. But then again, there is no need to know them. Because in the comic strip, they’re not supposed to be important characters in their own right. They only matter in regards to how Calvin is directly effected by them; an effect which, by the time of the film, doesn’t seem to have been very positive. From what "Jack" mentions, he’s not exactly close to his parents, particularly his dad, on whom he seems to pin many of his problems. And this matches perfectly with the relationship depicted in the comic, as well as with what happened afterwards (in Part I).

Calvin's Dad

Calvin’s dad seems to have done quite a number on his son. As stated, it was probably at his urging that Calvin "grew up," that is, finally started to conform to society’s rules, which was the death of Hobbes. Of course, his father wasn’t without his playful side—good-naturedly teasing Calvin at every opportunity—but perhaps this is why "Jack" resents him so much. Maybe after Jack reached the end of his dutiful journey, only to find emptiness, he thought back to the day his father told him that the sun sets down somewhere in Arizona every night. "Maybe," thought Calvin, "maybe ALL of it’s been just another one of Dad’s cruel jokes."

In the "bathtub" scene of Fight Club, "Jack" and Tyler discuss their woeful parents. In this scene, crucial information is revealed, as well as some inconsistencies. "Jack" claims his father left when he was six, an age when Calvin’s dad was obviously still around, but this statement is contradicted soon after, when Tyler mentions his own dad telling him to get married when he was thirty, to which "Jack" responds, "mine said that too." The self-pitying "Jack" is most likely seeking to garner additional sympathy from his newfound friend by making his childhood sound worse than it actually was.

Hobbes scheming

But even more interesting is Tyler’s hostility towards his father: when "Jack" asks him who he would fight, if he could fight anyone, he answers, "I’d fight my father." But, since Tyler is only a figment of Jack’s imagination, we can only assume he’s referring to Jack’s father. And while this hatred would only make sense given that the two are sharing the same brain, why is it that Tyler seems to hate Jack’s father even more vividly than "Jack" himself does? Maybe it’s because Tyler hasn’t forgotten who’s ultimately responsible for the un-imagining that took place years before . . . maybe he’s still not too happy about it . . . and maybe he’s got some pretty good ideas for revenge.

The role of Calvin’s father in all of this is no small one. Other than to "save" Calvin, it’s entirely possible that Tyler’s real motivation for taking down civilization is simply to get back at Calvin’s father. For by destroying the society that forced Calvin into repressing Hobbes, he’s also destroying the society that Calvin’s father, after all, epitomizes. And this of course allows Hobbes an indirect measure of revenge.

Part VI: Calvin—"I Am Jack’s Lost Youth"

Calvin-Jack

Although the personality differences between Calvin in the comic strip and Calvin in the movie are pretty large, it can be explained as easily as taking Id and introducing him to Superego ("Jack" actually seems to have sort of a Super-Superego). Nearly all people go through the same thing when first confronted with the crushing grind of reality. But, as they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall—and in terms of imagination and dreams, Calvin was a giant.

Still, it’s not as though common traits between Calvin-Calvin and Jack-Calvin can’t be identified at all. Besides a preference for imaginary friends over real ones, and an inability to express affection for girls, Calvin has never done well when forced to play by any sort of rules. Take, for instance, his utter inability in any sort of organized sport, compared to his unbridled joy while playing the make-it-up-as-you-go-along "Calvinball." Furthermore, even at age 6 Calvin never exactly thrived in stifling, authoritarian establishments (i.e., school), and he’s always had clashes with authority figures since the strip began (his parents, the doctor, his teacher, Rosalyn)—which actually may have initially planted the seeds for Tyler. Beyond that, his excellent vocabulary and way with words are still with him in the voice-over narration of Fight Club, and his rampant materialism that started with mail-order propeller-beanies ends with yin-yang shaped tables. As for the differences, they can be credited to the demoralizing effect of reality.

Calvin-Jack in the mirror

In the end, Calvin’s involvement with Fight Club and return of Hobbes can be boiled down to two words: "Personal Responsibility." For although Fight Club and Project Mayhem were both mostly Tyler’s doing, by the end of the movie, Jack readily accepts his own part of the blame, as Tyler is his creation. And by doing so, he also accepts responsibility for the undesirable condition of his own life—his father may have pushed him, but Calvin himself was the one who chose to obey. It is through this newfound self-accountability that Calvin/Jack is able to take control of his own life at last. As skyscrapers flash and crumble in the background, and blood oozes from the bullet hole in his head, Calvin says that he is "okay." And we are apt to believe him.

Part VII: Conclusion

Calvin’s world in the comic strip is pure, romanticized idealism, whereas in the movie, he lives in gray, bleak reality. Within the safety of the panel, Calvin is perpetually six years old, terrible things can never happen, and no matter how crazy a stunt he pulls, everything always returns to status quo. Because of this, our hero is free to do as he wishes, free to chase his dreams as wildly as he desires, never having to worry about tomorrow because there essentially will never be one—unless it’s part of a continuing storyline. This makes the reality of Fight Club all the bleaker, because it depicts what happens when you take someone weaned on dreams and limitless possibilities and jam him into a cramped cage confined by rules and regulations. It probably only took poor Calvin a few years in the adult world (or growing-up world) to fully make the sad change.

This transition from gleeful Calvin to dull "Jack" is not uncommon. Little Nemo became a banker, Peter Pan became a lawyer, and Garfield was caught and butchered by the chef of a Chinese restaurant. (One exception is Charlie Brown, who from all indications was mentally middle-aged at the time of his birth.)

The moral of the story is that reality bites, kiddies. Calvin and Hobbes in Fight Club are proof of this sad, sad truth.


Discussion Questions:

1. In the film, Calvin and Hobbes actually reversed many personality traits as Jack and Tyler. Is it possible that Calvin is the personality that got repressed and Hobbes is the one that did the "growing up"? Discuss.

2. Tyler wears a fur coat near the end of the movie. What is the significance of this garment, given his past incarnation as a jungle animal? Discuss.

3. If Calvin really wanted to change things, why didn’t he just dust off his old cardboard-box time machine and hop in? Discuss.

4. After the end of Fight Club, when Calvin realizes he’s effectively killed Hobbes twice now, do you really think he’ll still be "okay"? Discuss.